Conflict of Social dogmas and logical thinking

I was born and brought up in a small city called Jaspur in hinterland of uttarakhand, where thinking process of the society was always inhibited and dominated by the existing social dogma with people having no raw nerves to oppose established norms of the society. My parents, much disciplined and strictly spiritual, gave me daily doses of sermons about moral ethics and social values (example: Par dareshu matravat, par draveyeshu losthavat, it means you should think others’ wife as mother and others’ money or things like dust.). At that point of my life, I accepted their beliefs, ethos and moral ethics without any questioning or applying any modicum of the process called reasoning. As a result I was appreciated by that society who admired me as a forbearer of their ethics and beliefs. May be little bit because I was good in educational career and like any other society my people also don’t expect you to adhere to social ethos and dogmas if you are either rich or successful in your career. At this point I would like to clarify that I still don’t feel that their beliefs are absolutely worthless or obsolete. It’s just that I was not allowed to question their authenticity by using something called brain or related to logic.

But the real trouble started when I got selected for dual degree (B.tech and M.tech) in IIT Madras through prestigious JEE. There I got a chance to interact with people from different parts and societies of India. I also came to know there that Hindus from south of my country enjoy luxury of marrying their first cousins (a sure sign decadent society from my society’s point of view). By interacting with some of the best brains of country, I also started using this part of my body called brain, which I used till now exclusively for only solving mathematical equations of science questions. Then I started questioning each and everything which I did, followed or people expected from me.

Soon I had a lot of practices and beliefs, mere existence of those could be questioned. Why do some people believe in God? If man was capable of doing all the things, would there be concept of God? Doesn’t our incompetency in many spheres of life force us to imagine someone more capable, omnipotent called God? Why exogamy is bad? Why should I marry only in my caste? Why am I supposed to live a life of socially accepted man? Why can’t I live only for myself, placing my interest paramount? Does life have any purpose or I am just supposed to squander sixty or seventy whatever is endowed on me by Mother Nature? Why there is so much poverty and inequality in our society?

I tried asking these questions with my relatives, friends and elders belonging to my society. In search of answers of my questions, I started reading inspiration literature including Shrimadbhagvad Gita. Some of my queries were solved. But reading Gita was like giving a powerful weapon to a child, who was incapable of handling it properly. It gave birth to bigger, bolder and stranger questions? Who am I? Am I a soul? Is rebirth a truth?

Again I started looking for counseling from everyone whom I considered worthy enough to satiate my hunger about truth, but unfortunately or fortunately nobody could provide me savory solutions. Although many of them suggested that I should stop such irrelevant things like thinking and reading Gita.

But I learnt a lot by applying my brain; I came to know reasons behind many established practices. I could see good and bad for myself. I chose not to follow some preaching from my society because I could afford the loss occurred. And even if I loose something by not following established social norms, it is due to my choice. And it matters since it is my choice, a choice without being stunted by any barrier of established norms, faith, ethos and social dogmas.